SUMMARY
Pure brilliance in cost-savings
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Every three months they choose an Employee of the Quarter and several runners-up.
Nominees are chosen for their showing of initiative and suggesting cost-saving techniques.
This quarter... the prize will be mine!
Here's my idea, which I trust you as the reader will not steal from me (especially if you also work at Miller-Brasser Insurance Brokers alongside me) and thus steal the championship from me.
The problem: We're almost out of yellow file folders.
Notice that we only had three yellow folders left when this photo was taken
Why this is a problem: We use colored folders to identify the class of the insurance being quoted. We use blue, yellow, green, and plain old manilla.
The issue: Our budget is tight, and to buy another box of yellow folders would be expensive.
My brilliant idea: Convert plain old manilla folders into yellow using a highlighter pen. It took me about 15 minutes and about a pen and a half to convert one folder this morning.
Using the last original yellow folder as a guide, I carefully convert a plain folder to yellow
Criticism of my idea: Yeah, I already confided in a co-worker, and here's the objection he raised: "It's gonna cost more in labor and highlighter pens to create the folders than it would be buy them."
My response: "You're an idiot, Wayne. No it won't cost more... try using your brain for once. The yellow folders, if purchased new, cost money. The highlighters are free! Meaning there's a bunch of them in the supply cabinet. I saw at least one box of twelve."
Please keep my brilliant idea confidential until I bag the Employee of the Quarter award, which is in about 3 weeks.
Thank you.
If anyone thinks I spoke too harshly to Wayne Williams, you're wrong.
ReplyDeleteI talk to him like that all the time.
It's how we show affection and mutual respect. I call him "imbecile" and "moron" and "half-wit" usually several times a day.
He reciprocates, calling me names such as "unreasonable jerk" and "mental case" and "over-medicated whacko".
To me, it's a healthy way of showing comradery, much like how guys punch each others' arms in greeting.
Enjoying a decaffeinated iced mocha latte here at this street-side cafe in downtown El Cajon, I have just had a brainstorm.
ReplyDeleteThere's a way to save fluorescent ink and to cut the time to convert a folder in half:
It's probably only necessary to color the outside of the folder.
I WAS HACKED!!!! This entire post and the two comments previous to mine were not done by "me" but rather by my alter-ego "Ivan".
ReplyDeletePersonally I deplore language like that between friends. It's not healthy, in my opinion.
Even "c'mere ya big lunk" is abusive.
We should always be civil with one another.
Unless you're really angry. Then let loose the gates of hell on 'em.